Bad Times Virus

[A Man]

The Mother of all E-Mail Bombs

Badtimes

If you receive an e-mail with a subject of "Badtimes," delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous e-mail virus yet. It will rewrite your hard drive.

Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so that all your ice cream melts. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use the subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play. It will give your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix anti-freeze into your fish tank.
It will drink all your beer and leave its socks out on the coffee table when company is coming over. It will put a dead fish in the back pocket of your good suit and hide your car keys when you are late for work.

"Badtimes" will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Visa card.

It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of "Badtimes." It reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.

It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your boss' voicemail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle.

It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

"Badtimes" will give you Dutch elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up. It will make a batch of Methamphetamine in your bath tub and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase High School kids with your snowblower.

These are just a few of the things this virus can do. Be
warned......."Badtimes" is Bad!