Finally A Table Shower - Alissa Spa Review

[lovetogetmassage]

Location and Contact: 3833 Midland Ave #5 Scarborough, ON M1V 5L6 (647) 436-1568

It's nestled neatly inside a Chinese plaza on Midland and Mcnicoll. You have to go in through the front as the entrance to and from the mall doesn't have access. This plaza get's extremely busy on weekends and towards dinner time. There's a bunch of places to eat along with a food court on the south corner of the plaza. I recommend the BBQ at this food court.

So I had a bit of free time today and decided to venture out and get a massage. I visited one of my favorite locations that provide mostly professional services. Depending on the mood of the girl she will finish you off for a tip - have to leave it up to her though and her mood. Today was a no go on the finish. An excellent massage nonetheless though. That being said, I was left wanting a bit more. I decided today was the day to finally get a table shower. I've heard so much about it and have wanted to get one for months. My choices were slim but I chose Alissa Spa as I remember reading a good review on here and also I was closer to that spa.... So here we go.

I called them up and asked if they were busy and how many girls were working. I was told 3 by what sounded to be the mama-san. Off I went. Parking lot was extremely busy. It was difficult to find parking. I headed inside. Once inside the first door, it's the typical two door setup so the next one was locked. When you walk in though you are greeted by a blast in the face from a siren alerting the girls that you are there, and everyone outside for that matter. It took awhile for a girl to come to the door. I stood there twiddling my thumbs when I heard a loud "coming". The girl came from around the corner (who then turned out to be my masseuse). She was not attractive at all... She was quite tall with a manlier face. I'd put her in her late 30's. When she opened the door there was a sitting area on the right and stairs leading down to the left. We headed downstairs. She led me into a room with a massage table. I was confused because I mentioned on the phone I wanted a table shower. I tried explaining this to her but her English was so bad she had no idea what the hell I was saying. She kept pointing to the bathroom and saying shower - then massage. I kept saying, no, table shower and pointing to a table. She was very puzzled. The door opened and she went to the bottom of the stairs and yelled something in Chinese. An older lady fully clothed came down and asked me what I wanted. I knew it was the mama-san and that I talked to her on the phone because she had the same voice. Told her we had chatted earlier and I wanted a table shower. She knew who I was, then directed me into another room that had a massage table, a fowl smell, an ugly old chair in the corner, and what looked to be a shower room with a bed in it. The masseuse I had, had no idea what this was. I'm almost certain the mama-san explained to her what she needed to do and that it was her first time doing a table shower massage. Before she showed my masseuse how to use the shower, she directed me to take off my clothes and demanded the money. They were both in there and the door was wide open.. Hmm - weird. I waited till they were done. At this point I'm a little turned off already with this place. I went into the shower stall thing that had the bed in there and waited till she heated it up with the hand-held shower. I got on. If you are any taller than 5'9 this will be very uncomfortable for you. Also, if you are claustrophobic, avoid this table shower as It is very, very cramped. So after I got on I lay there with my knees bent and almost hanging off the table as it's tiny in there! I figured out what the fowl smell was...It was the shower room. It wreaked of sewage. It was awful to say the least.

She began the whole experience. It was ok I guess. All it is, is warm water being showered onto you as she uses her other hand to rub your body. I'm pretty sure the Mamma-san told her a table shower is basically like washing the customer in every nook and cranny. That she did, and pretty well too! There was lots of fondling. Tons actually. Was nice but short lived (although reading other reviews of places this is a lot more than other places offer). After probably 5-10mins of doing the front and back (both were very uncomfortable in terms of body mechanics) she gave me a towel and directed me to the massage bed.

Being downstairs it's already cooler than the main floor, adding the outside temperature, it just made it that much more cold. A portable heater was plugged in and the security system was turned on as I went onto the table. Wow! The table was cooold! Being so warm from the shower this was a shock to the system. Not a very good one either. I want to relax damnit! Anyway, she started the beating. She has to be a new masseuse...There's no other excuse for her terrible skills. She used no oils, no lotion, nothing. Skin on skin - which is ok if you know what you are doing. She clearly did not! There was one point when she was doing my arms it was like getting snake bites (as a kid). I hated them then, I still hate them now. Knees, elbows, knuckles, all were used. Effective in the use of a pro - F@ckn painful in the use of an amateur. This was shaping up to be one piss poor experience and I was pissed and disappointed that I paid $60 for it... The worst was not over... In the middle of the massage I heard a bunch of people come downstairs. The mamma-san called her out. Whispers come into my ear that she will be a moment. Ok.... When she leaves I hear the mamma-san say "you like?" you pick one. Heard a guys voice say something but couldn't make it out but an obvious customer (if he was smart he'd run). I was extremely pissed when this happened. I paid for this, this is my time. I don't care who comes in and how many girls are working. There was three working, my masseuse is occupied, therefore there is now 2! Don't interrupt my session (even though it was shit) to offer her to other clients. Professionalism out the f@ckn window here. Girl came back in and started again. It was still garbage and painful. Painful in a bad way - in an inexperienced dangerous way. When she told me to flip I didn't know what to expect. As she massaged the front, she did fondle a lot. More so than other masseuses. As 20minutes were left of the massage she asked me what I wanted. I said nothing, just the massage. This was easy as I had more of a hard on from the first MP I went to and was professional than this dump which is geared towards that. After I said that she stopped fondling completely and avoided that area like the plague - lol. For shits and giggles and to report to you guys, at the end I asked her what services she does provide. She didn't know what the hell I was talking about. I tried explaining it in 40 different ways. Nothing got through. Her response was that she will go get the translator (mamma-san). No thanks. I got dressed and boogied on outta there regretting I spent $60 but happy I saved the extra $20 I had planned to spend for a finish.

Conclusion...THIS PLACES BLOWS! SAVE YOUR MONEY FOR ANOTHER PLACE!

Ratings:

MP
Cleanlines - 5/10 (from what I could see)
Facilities - 2/10 (very cramped, dollar store hygiene products, fowl smelling table shower room)
Sound - 2/10 (Being downstairs next to a BBQ shop where they roast and chop up whole pigs, this is very noisy - with constant banging and walking up and down stairs. Also, I just remembered, there was no music playing! Just the white noise of the heater plugged in)

Mimi or Mia or M-something or other - couldn't understand. 2/10 (friendly even though she can't speak enough English to get by. Very tall for an Asian woman. Probably in her late 30's. C-cup chest that doesn't look appealing - obvious mother with strong blue veins. Saw her bend over in the shower - saggy butt. Manly-ish face. Clean smelling hair. Lots of fondling)

Mamma-san 0/10 (creepy demanding older Asian lady. Reminds me of the Geisha keepers on movies)

Dunno how the other girls are. But the way this place is run just by witnessing how the Mamma-san is..I would avoid, avoid, avoid!

Now I must try a different place to fix my shoulder that she brutalized.

 

[sensual_black_82]

I don't understand why guys love going to asian parlours? Most of the reviews haven't been that fulfilling either. Better to go to regular licensed spa, even if you have to pay more then what you bargin for.

 

[laminator]

I agree, and some asian places aren't even cheaper than regular licensed spas! I've tried a couple of Asian places and doubt I'll ever go back to any of them.