Massage Health Center - It Still Hurts.

[shouldatakenlaw]

I was out delivering flyers and felt the urge for a release. I was near Edmonton Trail and stopped by that rundown Asian place on 3614 3 Street NE. I'm not sure it has a name but it said Massage Health Center on the front. Place is more rundown each time I visit.


Left my wagon outside and walked in. Saw a smaller Asian chick that didn't make me run out screaming. Thought this might be good. Next thing you know a 160lb woman asks if I would like a massage. I say sure thinking the small one will do the massage but deep down it's going to be a Sumo sized massage.

I go into the room. The lights get dimmed and I'm told to get naked. I hop on the excuse for a table and a minute later Mt.Fuji comes in. Whatever. I was sporting wood anyway. She lubes up and starts giving me what I thought would be a HJ. Turns out she wanted to to grab the base of my cock and see if she could pull it over the top.

Didn't really appreciate her freestyle approach to the tug. I had to correct her 3 times. Instead of using the skin near the top she wanted to try to use the base and stretch it over the top. She was trying to stretch the poor guy out. Finally after raising my voice a little and correcting her horrible technique I was finally able to pop. Thankfully she used her other hand to rub my balls.

I thought to myself that is not the way I need my penis enlarged. Damage was the usual quick tug price. Maybe a total of 10 minutes. 8 of them near death.

Would I repeat. No.

Will I repeat. Probably because I get horny and don't think.


Anyway don't go. Not a place for fun. I may be able to use it again after it regains feeling.


I Am.

Not Needing A Penis Pump.

SlimShady.

 

[Shazz]

Oh shit.......so does it look larger from the the streching and swelling

 

[HonA]

Slim.. you should stick with the Asian Micros.. too bad their hours aren't early..

 

[maliboo_girl]

Christ Slim, my dick hurts after just reading that. Thanks for taking that one for the team dude!

 

[kellywebb]

Slim, what kind of job do you actually do? Sometimes you paint this picture of yourself as a hobo and it cracks the fking hell out of me. nice job.

 

[Black Delilah]

.........Hilarious man I laughed till my sides hurt. Wow your almost misery brightened my day!!!! Thanks!!

 

[Kellana]

..............Like the sp is trying to pop a champagne cork from the head of your penis!!! Hurts like hell.

 

[Rock on mofo]

(sigh) my hero

 

[condosgirl]

doorstop!! Ha ha

 

[Tamprio]

.............funniest shit I heard forever!!

 

[Bob Smith]

Q rist he almost got me .....

we will thing about this 1 whew????

Pirate & friends

 

[super winky]

Pirate, it's always a linguistic adventure when you show up!

 

[virgod]

been there you have to be very specific about who you want. there are i think 4 or five different girls there all asian and haest one usuallyrdly speak english. the best one usually works saturday night. she is hot, makes you feel comfortable and is good at what she does. you always have to ask to see them all then point out the one you want otherwise you get godzilla. i have passed her over time and time again, and by the sound of it thank god.

 

[liveandlaugh]

"Larger except now it is 7 inches wide and 2 inches long like a chubby"

This is the funniest thread I've ever read. Laughed so hard I nearly puked.