Real newspaper ads

[PABI]

:clap :clap
Awesome, Alfie.

 

[American Woman]

wow................

 

[ratesinla]

Lol.

They're good.

Took me 10 minutes to realize the last few lines is all the one joke.


​

 

[Drake]

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.

FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 ****er Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES...
Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat ... been out a while. Better be a reward.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK
$300 Hardly used, call Chubby.

GEORGIA PEACHES
California grown - 89 cents lb.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $300.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE: WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE.
Call Stephanie.

AND THE BEST ONE : FOR SALE BY OWNER:

Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes Excellent condition $1,000 or best offer No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything.

----------------
The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of a thunderstorm and the smell of fresh rain.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh butterfat.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of eggs frying.

So far, I have been afraid to go down the toilet paper aisle