REVIEW: Serena @ BChain

[Laptop Jesus 2.0]

INTRODUCTION

"GET IN, GET OFF, GET OUT"

That's what the man in black warned me.

The man in question being my boss Dick Juice AKA "the impaler" AKA VBB.

You see, I'm a PI, my name being Dan Love. While I've been around the block, Dick has massaged more MP's, shot more loads and spoken more Russian than the rest of us poor slobs put together.

As we relaxed in his office, the smoke curled from our cigars, turning the air thick, acrid and black. A bottle of Jack Daniels sat on the desk, the ice clinking in our tumblers as we toasted our future success on this case.

Dick had named the case:

" Mystery of the Stiff Stiff ", coz a 60 year old man named Cecil Smallbone had been found dead in a dumpster along Evans Ave. The poor chap was wearing nothing but a smile, an erection, and his right hand wrapped around said erection.

Cause of death was most likely heart attack, but we'll leave technical details to the CSI dweebs.

Dick was hired by the old man's widow, obviously distraught at the condition of the dearly deceased.

" I'm really suspicious about WHERE the old stiff... I mean Mr. Smallbone was found Dan," Dick said. "It's just too damn much of a coincidence he turned up down the street from LEXA Studio, where some really sweet MPA's work..."

" Yeah, " I agreed, "I've heard rumors of a hottie called Serena, who's supposed to be quite the petite bombshell. "

Dick took off his glasses, and gazed at me intensely, his blue eyes piercing and concerned.

" If Serena's as hot as they say she is Dan, this is a really dangerous mission."

"GET IN, GET OFF, GET OUT he implored again, but under no circumstances enjoy her BS... it's obviously some type of weapon, probably taught in the Shaolin Temple of Markham by the ruthless and evil Pei-Mei...."

What Dick said slowly sank in, and during the drive to Lexa, I chewed a toothpick down to a pulpy mess, the Killers album "Hot Fuss" playing in the background. I parked discretely next to the road, looking right then left, before emerging from my car, my heart pounding in my chest....

 

[cymraesgwyllt]

REVIEW

http://bgirls.ca/serena/

http://www.lexastudio.com/

http://www.starstudio.ca/

Serena normally works out of Star Studio in Scarborough (AKA Fort Apache the Bronx)but fortunately works one night a week at LEXA Studio. You see, I'm allergic to 9MM bullets and my pretty face doesn't want to catch any, so I avoid Scarborough at all costs.

I sat in the waiting area for a few minutes, before the door opened and I saw HER standing there:

Serena, the little brown bombshell, her hair in a ponytail, dressed in WHITE, flashing a killer smile. If you watch Kung Fu movies the bad guys ALWAYS wear white, the first dead giveaway...

She led me to room number one, where I settled the door fee and walked down the hallway for a shower.

Serena is VERY friendly and outgoing, and you honestly have NO idea how petite she is from her pictures. UNDER 5 ft tall, with a gymnast's body.

IE> hard and toned, with fantastic legs and ass...

... but UNlike gymnasts she also has the breasts to go with it. Her face is cute with piercing brown eyes and a nice smile. (HMMM, is this smile some type of Shaolin weapon?)

Clients will NOT be disappointed with Serena's appearance, and it's obvious I'll have to get my butt to the gym and workout LONGER and HARDER. I don't think Serena's beautiful like Halle, but she's certainly "hot and sexy."

We settled on the NR and I went on the table first. Because Serena is so petite she likes to work "from the table"... For a little thing she uses alot of pressure in her massage, which personally I like. Her massage is practiced if not great, but she regularly asked if I was enjoying myself, asked for direction.... and oh yeah, there was LOTS of teasing !

I took the opportunity to reverse, which Serena appreciated. She was explaining to me what some guys pass off as a massage, and I was laughing my ass off... I hope none of my massageplanet.net brothers are THAT pathetic, coz massage is a skillset that can be learned. lol

I then lay on my back again, and Serena sort of straddled the table sideways. Mr happy introduced himself, and we decided to practice our Russian language skills. It's actually been a while since I've properly conversed in said language, and it was quite a "relief" to finish the evening in such an enjoyable manner.

During the release I continued massaging Serena, and her eye contact was regular and encouraging...

If you recall my review of Tia @ Allure, I called her "all show no go", and mentioned that I prefer more well rounded MPA's:

IE>> a mixture of looks, personality, attitude, service and just damn pleasant to be with.

Serena is EXACTLY this type of MPA, and no wonder she does so well at the BChain. She can count INDN_LOVER.... I mean Dan Love... as another happy client.

Oh, and as for the case:

The CSI geeks proved that Mr Smallbone died of a heart attack during a session with Serena... but good luck proving it in court. I told Dick Juice we'll have to return every now and again to Lexa and keep an "eye" (one eyed jack) on her

PRICE: $40 door/$60 donation ( 30 minutes )

Massage: 7.25/10

Face: 8.75/10

Body: 8.75/10

Attitude: 9.0/10

Personality: 9.0/10

Mileage: 7.0/10

Fun Factor: 8.25/10

Release: 8.25/10

Repeat: YES

Does MPA engage in head games ?: NO

 

[Chotuzzz]

Excellent Review !!!

I am glad that you finally veered off the EI MPA path slightly. LOL




Johhny Cash was there as well ?



Yeah, so you like the Dick Juice "Oil'verhaulin" character, well I have a surprise for you ...



... that is correct !!!



From the warped mind of VBB ...

VeryBadBoy Entertainment presents



FIVE DEADLY MPAs vs MASTER REVIEWER



When you thought it was safe to visit AMPs again ...




... you were wrong !!!



Coming Summer 2005

VBB

 

[Pompal 09.]

Another great review IL.If they ever decide to award the pulitzer prize for mpa reviews you and VBB would be the obvious favorites to win.I am curious, how would you describe your hobbying staus now,are you semi-retired or are you back in it up to your one-eyed jack?

 

[tomdetal7]

I've cut down my sessions considerably. I go in cycles where I don't go for a couple of weeks, then I'll go twice in a few days, so I suppose it averages out.

... but to me MP's aren't a substitute for a real relationship, which is my long term goal.

 

[sunnySindhi]

Wonderful review!

I enjoyed reading it from top to bottom.

Another girl added to my to do list!

Al Cohol

 

[JaneM]

Skilled Review IR, creative, and a pleasure to read.....
Diode,
from the SC scene

 

[xoCircles]

As always, great review INDN_LOVER. Serena is one of favs. She's problably third in my books only
after Mel B, Lisa ........

cheers.

Euro Male

 

[Yoyo]

Thank You all for the postiive responses

Sometimes, as in this case, the review literally writes itself...

I knew from the moment the door opened I was gonna have fun, and as such it's easy to get creative !

 

[Jave]

I've been with her. She is great! I like short and tanned girls with big breasts, so this girl is absolute awesome!! The only slight problem is that her breasts appear bigger than they actually are because she is so small. That was apparent when was trying to give me a TJ. She couldn't wrap them all the way around the schlong. At that point I also realized how small she really is because my balls were touching her naval ring (I could feel a metallic thing rubbing against them) and the tip of my dick was nearly touching her chin/neck.

It was much fun and for a wonderful price. And IND Lover, Scarberia isn't so bad. I visit it often and I have never even seen anything remotely close to any crime. It's better than you think.

 

[LegendZ]

That's the best d**m review I've read in a long time. Thanks for the pleasure IL.