Update on my "What Would You Tell THis Person?" thread

[jiggles]

I can't seem to be able to update the original thread, found here: http://massageplanet.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=19159&start=0 , so I'm starting a new thread to post my update.

After several weeks of not hearing back from her personally, but reading brief, usually frustrated updates, she has finally posted something I think you all will be as happy as I was to read. I asked her for permission to update y'all, and got a resounding "YES!", so here you go (this was what she posted on the other forum, with a few minor alterations for privacy purposes):

First, I want to apologize to my dear friends here. I am sorry. I spiraled downward and went a direction I never thought I could go. I know I have a tendency towards being a pessimist, but this one really even caught me by surprise. A special thank you to for the wake up call about my post being GOOD news rather than bad news. Before I saw it in writing, you could not have convinced me any differently. Dh and I had tried every normal (for us) course of action with my headache, chiropractor, massage, herbs, extra fluids, stretching, I was doing the biggest loser stuff, the whole bit. When I reached the end of my resources, and the headache kept getting worse, we turned to the doctors. Wow, what a roller coaster. We stepped into that roller coaster car and let them take us for a ride and gave them full control, and stopped taking responsibility for ourselves. Big mistake. I knew better. I have made that mistake before, yet I did it again. WHY?!?!? I have no idea?! But I did! I did every test, took every medication on schedule, went to every appointment. I had many tolerable days for a long time, but still had that nagging, dragging headache that never went away. I had all my stock in getting to that appointment the other day and coming to the end of that roller coaster ride, getting out of my seat and seeing a sign that said something like "exit here, your headache was caused by xyz, do abg to resolve it"...yeah, I know, pretty stupid sounding, huh? well, when you are in bed and can do nothing but cry or puke, well, it starts sounding pretty good :altwink:


My headache has been a nightmare for my family, both in my home and extended. It has affected every aspect of my life, my work, my play, all of it. Losing my eyesight was huge. Most had no idea how bad things were because I have always had things that I could do, like typing by feeling the keys. These past few weeks when the pain was so bad, I could do nothing but lay in bed and cry while throwing up most days. I could no longer identify my children by sight or by voice. If one talked to me, I had to ask who they were. I couldn't remember basic things. I told dh I wanted to die, the pain was so bad. I told the doctor that. I told his nurse that. They were sure it was the pressure in my head, until the spinal tap proved otherwise. Then, they upped my medication to a more therapeutic dose. We just kept going. I would lay there, just thinking of painful things that would feel better than my head hurting, (I almost thought of typing it out, but thought better of it, so as not to put impure thoughts into someone else's head, they are bad ). After meeting with a therapist yesterday for the cranial treatments, I realize now, they were suicidal thoughts. Not once did I recognize them as such, neither did my dh, nor the doctors or nurses :shock: We all just thought of them as being so deeply in pain, that it was the "pain talking". Now, as we are researching, we are finding that the blindness, the confusion, the memory issues, the oh so many things are probably not from the headache at all, but from the medications I have been on and I knew better. I know medications. I read the stuff, but I was soooooooo desperate for relief, that I put my trust in the numbers, and didn't think of the real possibilities. I didn't ignore the warning labels, I just didn't even consider them when things kept getting worse, I just trusted the medications to be safe because the doctor said so. Looking back, each time we adjusted or tried a new medication, things got worse.

When I boil it all down, the headache is still there. We are getting to the root of that. I am thankful to have stuck it out this long, we found a little known wellness center in a little bitty town about 30 miles from me. They have a massage therapist, a Christian counselor, and a cranio sacral therapist. I received my first half hour cranial treatment, and if dh weren't sitting right there watching her, I would have been sure she was shocking me with something, her touch was so powerful. I walked out of there relaxed and able to move my neck for the first time in weeks. She was able to instinctively touch all the troublesome spots, so even though I know very little of what her work actually *is*, I do think she has a gift that will help me heal.

I can't wait to come back with a message next week from my treatment saying I am soooo much better, I will be able to sleep without nightmares again 8)

There is a little more informative stuff she posted later on that I'll copy here in a minute.

 

[PROTEA]

Update on my "What Would You Tell THis Person?" thread

, I am not sure if it is a rebound headache or not. Dh and I laid in bed last night, though, and traced a lot of the significant trouble back to the night I was paralyzed and taken to the ER. That was the day we tried a well known migraine drug. A few minutes after taking it, every muscle in my body tensed up as tight as could possibly be. That has never let loose completely. From there, we went to another drug, then another, and another. We haven't ever had a "lot" of drugs, most of the time just 2 or 3 at a time, most often they were seizure or migraine drugs (I am being careful to not use names because I don't want to scare people. What happened to me is not necessarily what will happen to others, and I don't want to keep anyone from a drug that will truly help someone if they need it!).

Through this whole thing, it has never let go of the headache that started it all. It is still there, in the back of my head, pushing in the occipital area, and pushing out in the frontal area around my right eye as it has more recently. There have been variations added along the way, but that part in the back has never strayed or dimmed even slightly.

You have no idea how better I feel! Literally, when I went to the doctor on Tuesday, I could not stand up without throwing up, ever. I managed to ensure that more than one public restroom got a thorough cleaning recently :roll:

Through this whole thing, it has never let go of the headache that started it all. It is still there, in the back of my head, pushing in the occipital area, and pushing out in the frontal area around my right eye as it has more recently. There have been variations added along the way, but that part in the back has never strayed or dimmed even slightly.Quote:You have no idea how better I feel! Literally, when I went to the doctor on Tuesday, I could not stand up without throwing up, ever. I managed to ensure that more than one public restroom got a thorough cleaning recently