When should I introduce my boyfriend to my 13 year old son?

[J H]

I have been seperated from my son's father for a year (living in a new place entirely for that year with my son). My son is 13 and will be 14 this coming July. I am really fond of someone new. He is a great guy who also has a 13 year old son who goes to my son's same school their not technically friends but have seen each other passing in the halls. My son and this man have met at a mutual friends house during a gathering a couple of times, and spoke to each other at a rollerskating party (actually played a couple of games of air hockey).

The man is great, I like his values, his work ethics, his parenting skills and the amazing love he shows for his son. He cares about his son's academics and wants to be involved in every aspect of his son's life. The kids mom has moved on currently married and has had several other kids but his father is alone.

This man shares similar interests in music such as playing the piano and drums and in sports (e.g. boxing) as my son. This man is a gentlemen and has hinted at different opportunities that he doesn't mind taking my son to the park to play basketball, or teaching him what he knows about music. He also said if I ever was sick (e.g. had a cold or the flu that he doesn't mind coming over to cook a meal for my son and I if I wasn't feeling up to it)

How long should I wait to tell my son? I don't want to hide the relationship from him. I know for a fact that my ex-husband has moved on and is dating but has never introduced our son to anyone. This man that I am fond of will not be spending the night at any period of time when my son is home. I believe in providing my son with respect and want to display a level of moral conduct in front of him. But I seeking companionship from this individual and we are taking it slow because the most important things right now in our lives are raising our kids. We both seem to take our parenting role seriously. Want the kids to move on to high school graduate and pursue a college degree.

Should I wait till my ex-husband starts introducing my son to other people. Or should I just go ahead and start. I would like to introduce this man as a friend and then later on let my son put to and to together. I have been with my son's father for 12 years seperated then divorced and living seperatly for an entire year.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

 

[itsme]

Your son doesnt need to know anything about your relationships!! Most of all I wouldnt meet anyones kid(s) til I was walking down the aisle with her or planned on moving in..Your son doesnt need any input about your relationships or drama.. Keep him out of it if you want a good relationship with your son..

 

[jim]

Wait until you find if out your new man likes boys that are too old to be cute and too young to kick out, but old enough to drive a wedge between you and him. I'm not kidding; I've seen this happen. The sooner you get everyone on the same page, the better.

 

[kelly]

I think introducing your son to this man as a friend is fine. You don't want your son feeling like you're hiding things from him, and if he goes to school with this mans kid it will eventually come out that the two of you are spending time together. Kids are a lot smarter then we give them credit for. He doesn't have to know the details of your relationship, he just needs to know that you are spending time together and are friends.