Still out (follow up on previous post)

[boeing707]

As some may recall I posted a while ago that I am done with massage visits. For reasons, see original post. All is well still and haven't gone back since mid-December of last year. I wanted to share what helped me, in case anyone else is thinking of doing so. As I said before, it is purely a personal choice, and certainly not trying to make anyone feel worse, that would be very hypocritical. Each person has their own circumstances. Opinions always welcome, whether positive or negative.

Here are some things that helped. Funnily some are very similar to when I quit smoking 25 years ago.

1. Acknowledge that it is an addiction, which was probably the most difficult. It's funny how many "logical" reasons my brain comes up with to convince me otherwise. Was the same when trying to quit smoking. Anything would do as a reason to start again.
2. Use the cash saved for a hobby. Now here I am very lucky because I have many hobbies and a man cave full with interesting stuff. So I use some of the money to reward myself to add to my collections.
3. Similar to above, spend time on other things you like doing. Which in case of this winter is not the easiest thing since we're all stuck indoors but nevertheless, that works very well.
4. Go out and meet friends. I may not be a teenager but still enjoy going out. I make a point of at least 2 or 3 times per month to go out for dinner, or have drinks with friends. Specially if you are on your own, the worst thing is to try to survive the weekend by sitting on the couch. Staying busy is key.
5. Find someone you can talk to. I am again very privaleged to have a friend I can share personal problems with and just chatting makes it a lot easier.
6. Go on youtube and listen to the stories of Asian women in massage parlors, and the reasons why they are here. It helps me to keep motivated.
7. If you have family, spend more time with them.
8. Have normal sexual relations. Now that I go out more, I find that this is really not that big mountain I thought it would be. It takes more time and effort but just trying is actually fun. And no, age really doesn't matter that much. I have passed the 50 mark a while ago. And while maybe a dance club is a bit much, I find that many places in Toronto are perfectly accepting of someone who isn't in his 20s anymore.
9. Have something you can do when the urge comes up. In my case I go for a work out or go do some chores around the house. Don't replace massage with porn overload, try to avoid that as it does not help.

I know, it probably sounds a bit soppy, but it works for me.

 

[superdick]

As some may recall I posted a while ago that I am done with massage visits. For reasons, see original post. All is well still and haven't gone back since mid-December of last year. I wanted to share what helped me, in case anyone else is thinking of doing so. As I said before, it is purely a personal choice, and certainly not trying to make anyone feel worse, that would be very hypocritical. Each person has their own circumstances. Opinions always welcome, whether positive or negative.

Here are some things that helped. Funnily some are very similar to when I quit smoking 25 years ago.

1. Acknowledge that it is an addiction, which was probably the most difficult. It's funny how many "logical" reasons my brain comes up with to convince me otherwise. Was the same when trying to quit smoking. Anything would do as a reason to start again.
2. Use the cash saved for a hobby. Now here I am very lucky because I have many hobbies and a man cave full with interesting stuff. So I use some of the money to reward myself to add to my collections.
3. Similar to above, spend time on other things you like doing. Which in case of this winter is not the easiest thing since we're all stuck indoors but nevertheless, that works very well.
4. Go out and meet friends. I may not be a teenager but still enjoy going out. I make a point of at least 2 or 3 times per month to go out for dinner, or have drinks with friends. Specially if you are on your own, the worst thing is to try to survive the weekend by sitting on the couch. Staying busy is key.
5. Find someone you can talk to. I am again very privaleged to have a friend I can share personal problems with and just chatting makes it a lot easier.
6. Go on youtube and listen to the stories of Asian women in massage parlors, and the reasons why they are here. It helps me to keep motivated.
7. If you have family, spend more time with them.
8. Have normal sexual relations. Now that I go out more, I find that this is really not that big mountain I thought it would be. It takes more time and effort but just trying is actually fun. And no, age really doesn't matter that much. I have passed the 50 mark a while ago. And while maybe a dance club is a bit much, I find that many places in Toronto are perfectly accepting of someone who isn't in his 20s anymore.
9. Have something you can do when the urge comes up. In my case I go for a work out or go do some chores around the house. Don't replace massage with porn overload, try to avoid that as it does not help.

I know, it probably sounds a bit soppy, but it works for me.

First off.....congrats.
Sounds like the success from quitting smoking gave you the confidence and the blueprint.

A thoughtful honest post....
and YES
It is an addiction for most and in some cases an affliction. Financial, marital, etc

 

[Ambler]

Okay, I admit to being skeptical about most things Boeing related recently, but I have to say your post is not one them.

Thanks for sharing and being sincere here. And taking the time to check back in and share. Your post adds as much value as most reviews, and much more than the usual crap spread across this site.

I did a mini break, not exactly inspired by you, but certainly aware of your sentiments as posted earlier and I agree with most of what you post here now. I am down to once a week or so, from 2 or 3 times per week, with ladies I appreciate and make me feel appreciated. My time is valuable and I always tried to rationalize the hobby as providing more value for money versus the various other services I engage: lawyers, bookkeepers, accountants, tradesmen, etc. etc. But I was addicted, especially to the thrill of the unknown and novel, and yes to the temporary connection and sexual tension release. It becomes clearer when you step away.

Anyhow, glad to hear things are going well and your decision is one that you have found rewarding and liberating. Best of luck going forward, and thanks again for sharing.

 

[Lalallala]

Good on you man! I don't want to tag your username in case it notifies you. but I think even when hobbying, you should maintain your social connections and doing all those other things.

 

[kittyhound69]

Stop reading sex forums helps alot.

 

[boeing707]

Stop reading sex forums helps alot.

It's a good point. I didn't want to add it to my list initially because I don't want to offend. But reading the forum has the opposite effect on me and find it motivating. The best way I can describe it is, if you have quit smoking (which I did 25 years ago), and you walk past one of those glass cabins they have for smokers at airports, and see people puffing on cigarettes. It's a very motivating sight never to smoke again.

 

[imthedude]

Stop reading sex forums helps alot.

I dunno, being exposed to the critical mass of stupid reactionary incels on MP can probably have an inoculating effect.

 

[Ambler]

I dunno, being exposed to the critical mass of stupid reactionary incels on MP can probably have an inoculating effect.

Wow, truth in advertising, and biting, incisive commentary: YOU ARE THE DUDE! Abide!

 

[snoopdoggie]

As some may recall I posted a while ago that I am done with massage visits. For reasons, see original post. All is well still and haven't gone back since mid-December of last year. I wanted to share what helped me, in case anyone else is thinking of doing so. As I said before, it is purely a personal choice, and certainly not trying to make anyone feel worse, that would be very hypocritical. Each person has their own circumstances. Opinions always welcome, whether positive or negative.

Here are some things that helped. Funnily some are very similar to when I quit smoking 25 years ago.

1. Acknowledge that it is an addiction, which was probably the most difficult. It's funny how many "logical" reasons my brain comes up with to convince me otherwise. Was the same when trying to quit smoking. Anything would do as a reason to start again.
2. Use the cash saved for a hobby. Now here I am very lucky because I have many hobbies and a man cave full with interesting stuff. So I use some of the money to reward myself to add to my collections.
3. Similar to above, spend time on other things you like doing. Which in case of this winter is not the easiest thing since we're all stuck indoors but nevertheless, that works very well.
4. Go out and meet friends. I may not be a teenager but still enjoy going out. I make a point of at least 2 or 3 times per month to go out for dinner, or have drinks with friends. Specially if you are on your own, the worst thing is to try to survive the weekend by sitting on the couch. Staying busy is key.
5. Find someone you can talk to. I am again very privaleged to have a friend I can share personal problems with and just chatting makes it a lot easier.
6. Go on youtube and listen to the stories of Asian women in massage parlors, and the reasons why they are here. It helps me to keep motivated.
7. If you have family, spend more time with them.
8. Have normal sexual relations. Now that I go out more, I find that this is really not that big mountain I thought it would be. It takes more time and effort but just trying is actually fun. And no, age really doesn't matter that much. I have passed the 50 mark a while ago. And while maybe a dance club is a bit much, I find that many places in Toronto are perfectly accepting of someone who isn't in his 20s anymore.
9. Have something you can do when the urge comes up. In my case I go for a work out or go do some chores around the house. Don't replace massage with porn overload, try to avoid that as it does not help.

I know, it probably sounds a bit soppy, but it works for me.

How about investing the money that you would have spent, on a locked-in or non-redeemable GIC instead? You can't withdraw that money until the term is over. But it won't matter because you would have lost that money on a massage anyway. I wouldn't lock it in for more than a year though because you never know if interest rates will go up, and you don't want to get trapped into a low rate for very long. There are some smaller banks that allow you to invest in as little as 100 bucks. Perhaps you can invest in a tax free GIC if you still have contribution room. Just make sure your GIC is CDIC protected.