Mate, must be your lucky day that I came across this post as I just found a huge source of smelly big ass for you. Walk in to any bar, ask the following question of the first girl you see
"I want to BF your Buffalo".
If she says her Buffalo is sick it just means she wants more 'Sin sod'. Be generous and ring the bell (tied in water buffalo's neck) and let all other buffalo drink up the water in the village pond................ enjoy, live it up king size..............