How you're feeling, though unadvisable, is human nature and completely understandable. Learning when to turn it on and off is a skill that's learned overtime. If you're willing to learn the hard way, more power to you but I suggest you avoid it while you can. Treat it like the fantasy it is when you're with her. Have all these funny feelings Inside of you but remember to switch it off when your time together is over.
Trust me. I can relate. I'm on the same boat currently. During our last session, my fave suggested we take the fantasy outside the spa and into a hotel room. Though I've personally preferred the spa for the easy booking and relative discretion, I just realized with this woman, that setting wouldn't cut it anymore. As each session has progressively gotten longer, we both agreed that no length of time would suffice anymore. Too many rules enforced by a manager who's running a tight ship along with multiple clients wanting to see the same girl just take away from what should be a laid back experience. I look forward to it next week.
I hope your experience will be fruitful. Let us know how it goes if you push through. Cheers!