men and massage ... oh yes, and a bit about being naked!

[Tom K]

hi all ... here's my story

3 years ago i had never ever had one massage. i was getting stressed at work (City banking) and my girlfriend of then suggested i go for a massage. after refusing flatly to go to any such woosy thing for about three weeks, i finally succumbed and went to a local spa. the therapist walked, i looked at her and frowned ... she was heavily pregnant, and i thought "great, what are you going to be able to manage?!" ...

... at the end of the massage, i was hooked. since then ive had about 30 or 40 ... the first one was still the best, but i've learnt a few things since then ...

... one, i love massage so much (giving and receiving) that i took a three day amateur course in it myself ... really really great fun

... two, in Europe i experienced my first full naked massage ... on the severe insistence of the therapist (who incidentally looked and acted if she was more used to working on a concentration camp!) ... it wasn't as good as my first massage ever, but there were definitely some very obvious advantages:

+ given a full body massage is about treating the whole body, being naked just made me feel more relaxed as it actually took the attention away from the buttock/groin area by making it equivalent status to everywhere else, as opposed to marking it out as different by keeping it clothed

+ the long strokes which went up my leg, across the buttocks and onto the back in one smooth flowing motion felt much more relaxing

+ some therapists in the past had pulled awkardly at underwear etc, which spoiled the massage ... there was none of those probs


... but also some disadvantages ...


- i felt a little embarrassed for a few moments when turning over for the front massage, even though the towel completely covered my private areas

- although not on this first 'naked' massage, but on one or two subsequent occassions, there has been a short lived involuntary 'change of circumstances' down below (!), which of course has been a little embarrasing ... although this can of course happen when wearing underwear, i think it is a little more likely to occur when not.


anyway, i now go for massages as often as i can manage ... get a little disappointed if the clinic insists on wearing underwear (and probably would have the massage but not go back unless it was exceptionally good - ps. disposable underwear is the absolute worst possible idea ever, so uncomfortable!) ... and to cut a long story short (yes, i have a habit of rambling on, but not when being massaged!!) ... i had found the perfect therapist (highly skilled, calm, friendly, and totally relaxed about not only massaging me naked (me, NOT her silly) but also totally cool about massaging the leg's "armpit" equivalent area (not sure of the medical term, but sure you guys will educate me!), which is an area where i get tense from swimming and riding bike alot ....

... where was i, oh yes, i HAD found the perfect therapist ... but she has just moved to Oz with hubby and now I'm lost ... have tried all the local centres ... and most of them i'm afraid to say are populated with very nice, pretty girls, but that pales into insignificance when all they do is lightly stroke your body whilst imagining what they'll be doing that weekend!!

So, to the point ... hurray ... DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYBODY SUITABLE IN THE SURBITON, SURREY AREA???

Thanks a trillion in advance ...

A

 

[Molly SH]

I have pm`d you

 

[Kerbear]

A very very good point, and one which I have not seen before. It reminds me of the Eden Fall, in which to man and woman in their purest form, total nudity was assumed the norm and it was only through the intervention of evil that the genitals became 'dirty', (and the source of much money for the sex and advertising industry).

Leo

 

[naexbuzkikmircell]

that's very kind alrl - thank you, i'll give that a try

 

[Avery]

Hi Creative Vision,

I do hope alrl has sorted you out with a suitable contact.

I think the plus points to naked body massage are very valid, and I am very thankful that you don't appear to take the attitude that some men do to massage- naked or not!

Speaking from the POV of the therapist now, I have had friends (women)say that after they trained in full body massage and started working under a complementary healthcare centre they had rather a few unpleasant experiences. The men that they were treating (despite this being in a professional setting and with the men wearing underwear and being covered with towels) seemed to think they were paying for a sensual experience rather than a relaxingbut remedial massage. I have heard that on some occasions it started off with men asking whether they could have their buttocks massaged (which is OK) but following this they would not see anything wrong with turning onto their front andmaking inappropriate requests.I have also heard stories of therapists who work from home and getting suggestive phonecalls late at night or even men who presumed that just because the therapist worked from home they were offering an entirely different service. It seems that even if you advertise as a holistic/clinical massage therapist that you can attract the worng tuype of client!!!


Anyway- sorry, I will get to the point in a minute!!

I agree that ifthe massagetherapist states clearly the service that they are providing, and maintains a highly professional attitude at all times, then to massage someone- including men, naked then this does have benefits for the reciever as you quite rightly point out. Being naked is after all a natural state.However it is unfortunate that some men just 'assume' that massage has sexual implications and behave inapproriately which is proably why you might have difficulty finding a therapist....or get a rather suspicious andhasty "no"

Fortunately it sounds like you have admirable intentions! Good luck in the search!

 

[Due October 1st!]

Hi Creative Vision,
I am in total agreement, and have entirely the same beliefs as yourself.
If you are fortunate enough to hear of a suitable therapist, I would be very grateful if you could share this information with me.
Many Thanks,
C

 

[GaiBaan]

Hi All

Sorry for replying late but it takes sometime to get around this site & the messages! Anyway yes i agree also as there do a job & don't want hassle from the customers. I too would love a massage from someone who know's what there doing. I mean i have had one from my girlfriend but not from a skilled person. I would love a naked one but i would also be very shy but would also like to know if the use certain oils as i am a Diabetic! I also have problems all over but also in sleeping as i don't if you know what i mean!

I am in Leeds if anyone know's of a place or who could call out even?

Andy

 

[AnteSavant]

it sounds as though you are after a strong massage and in a salon the majority of customers will require beauty treatments and maybe a 'pampering' type massage, therefore therapists in salons are often (def. not always) beauty therapists first and foremost. You will do better going to a complementary health centre for a massage from someone as you put it - 'who knows what they are doing'.

as for the underwear thing - female therapists have had to become rather defensive, due to the reasons already given above. however, wherever tension exists in the body - it can be reached without the need to remove underwear via stretching/trigger point techniques etc. also - there are proffesional (and social) boundries which our proffesional bodies advise us not to cross - and in my experience quite rightly.

it is an interesting point that women clients never complain about not being aloud to strip off...

you may be passing over some hghly talented therapsts who can relieve all tension without removing underwear - because you feel that doing so is the only way to have a positive massage. it absolutly is not and i hope you find a therapist who meets your needs.

happy hunting
saffron

 

[Wunder]

Hi Saffron

I’m surprised by your comment



If you read the earlier thread on ‘naked massage’, Sunanda wrote



There are several similar comments from females on that thread. And a significant number of established female tutors teach their students that nudity is preferable: examples include Fiona Harrold (founder of the LCM), Imelda Leahy (founder of Holos), Rachel Fairweather (co-founder of Jing), Rosalie Samet and Lizy Newton (the leading Lomi Lomi tutors in the UK).

Of course I can understand women preferring to receive a naked massage from another woman, because there may be a few male therapists who behave unprofessionally (as described in the earlier thread ‘bad news for male therapists’). But my experience is that it is male tutors who are more cautious about recommending nudity, partly because of fears that clients may be intimidated by a request to undress completely. (Examples of such male tutors include Marius Antoniades at Holos and Jem Pickford at Jing - both much more cautious than their female colleagues.)

Speaking as a therapist, I always leave the nudity/underwear decision entirely up to the client. But as a client, I always prefer to be naked: in my experience, the best massages I've received have been where the therapist effleurages the whole length of the body from the ankle to the shoulder, which is far more relaxing than just doing one area at a time. If we are paying good money for a massage, we shouldn't be criticised for seeking the most relaxing treatment possible. And if you visit a hotel spa (as opposed to a small salon or private clinic), it is normal to be naked for a massage.

Regards

Alan

 

[Kissi]

I've had massages both naked and clothed, though mostly clothed. I honestly don't care, but it would seem a better massage could be given when naked because it is easier to get to certain muscles without the therapist losing their flow. But, I usually remain clothed because I would never want to put a female therapist in an uncomfortable position. If there is one thing I hate, it's when therapists says "dress downto the level of your comfort." How about their comfort? I honestly would rather have the therapist say, "I prefer blank because of blank, but you can dress however you are comfortable." There are female therapists that prefer male clients clothed, and others that prefer them unclothed. Either way, my one wish is that they at least start off by taking male clients at their word. If I feel that the therapist doesn't trust me or is suspicious of me from the start, it makes the rest of the massage uncomfortable with me feeling I have to prove that I am a good, ethical client (which I am). But some female therapist are extremely distrustful of men, I guess because of a couple of bad experiences?

 

[envis]

Hi Ace

I think that when a therapist says 'undress as far as you're comfortable', you should take that as meaning that they are happy for you to be naked, but don't want to embarrass clients who may not be comfortable naked. If a female therapist wants a male client to keep underwear on, she will make that clear in the initial consultation.
Incidentally, earlier this year the Sunday Times answered a reader's question about the 'etiquette' for a massage by saying '99.9% of therapists prefer you naked'. Judging by this forum, I think that '99.9%' must be an overestimate, as a result of the Sunday Times confining their research to established spas rather than to small clinics. Nevertheless, I thinkthat the majority of therapists are happy with nudity, and that the minority who aren't will make this clear during their initial client consultation.

Regards

Alan

 

[AnsLoriaua]

I started to use essential oil five years ago. Frankly speaking, I only learn the knowledge from the Internet and books. I tried to have an aromatherapy course two years ago, but I gave up due to I have to work over time. Recently, I started to read some books about massage and home spa. I joined volleyball team when I was in college, after daily practice, our teammates would give massage each other to relax our muscle (of cause without essential oil or any carrier oil).

I talked my good male friend who exercise regularly that I am learning massage now. He often have massages weekly (but not from a aroma therapist), so he suggest that I can give him a massage and he can tell me where I can improve. I have gave him massage for four times, I found some question that I need the professional help from you all.

1) I use the blend oil in which I add immortal, Atlantic cedar, Lavender. He didn’t have any allergy reaction and I gave him massage for three times. However, when I use the massage oil he bought, he got red spot on his shoulder and near buttock. He use this oil before (made by L’occitane, the ingredients are tee tree, lavender, geranium.) I tried it, but nothing happened. I don’t know what wrong is it, my massage or the oil itself.

2/ I start from ankle, legs and buttock until back and then I do the front massage from belly. But I found he has erection, at the first place, I didn’t know. Every time I give him a massage, I always found it. I know erection maybe because the blood flows to his private part, but I wonder is it normal for therapists. Because he is a British, so I would like to ask how you will do in your country. Btw, he also likes to being 'naked', and I use towel to cover the private part only.

I am from Taiwan, so maybe my English didn’t express so appropriately. Thanks for your kindly help in advance.

 

[kxeidubiipiikderd]

Hi Volkyrie[/align][/align]Welcome to the forum.[/align][/align]The person can have a reaction to the base oil used to mix the essential oils into or they might be very stressed out at the moment which can bring on a form of allergic reaction.[/align][/align]Erections can happen during a massage though they are not the norm, some people appear havelittle self controlbut your massage techniques might be a little to gentle which turns the massage into a sensual one.[/align][/align]I would suggest you increase the pressure you are applying and make sure you have good contact with the skin, it is hard to do any serious damage so use your body weight by leaning into your arms, if you put to much pressure on you will be told, hope that helps.[/align]

 

[K.O.Deangelo]

Alan, funny thing. The next time I went to this same therapist 3 months later, she did not say to "dress down to the level of my comfort." She actually just said to "get undressed". At that point, I said "Do you care if I am unclotched for the massage since I am draped anyway. I just wanted to make sure you are comfortable with that." She actually said 75% of her patients get fully undressed, and by her reaction, she seemed to prefer it. By a couple experiences I have had, it seems that the 1st time a therapist has a male patient they want them partly dressed, as a matter of procedure. Understandable, until they feel comfortable with the patient.

I have lower back problems, and being unclothed was a blessing because she worked much more on my glutes than the last time. I also didn't get that uneven feeling, and honestly, it was probably the best massage I ever had. I felt so good that the next day I went out and beat two guys in a basketball game, and I haven't even been able to play sports for months due to physical problems! But I just was much more flexible and felt much looser.

 

[Griedgike]

Not sure what benifitmy comment is bringing to the discussion, but I had the most fabulous massage while on holiday in Florida this year. I have had massages before, but never from a male therapist. I have to admit I was a little uncomfortable at first, but when he asked me to get ready for the massage (he has already asked if I had had massage treatments before), I asked HIM "what do I strip down to?" he replied "to however you feel comfortable".

He was such a professional and put no pressure whatsoever on me to strip off completely.

IMO, its down to 'comfort zones' as to how and for that matter if you enjoy a massage. I am taking up a massage course in the new year, maybe then my opinion will change?

<<Magic Acid wanders off wondering why she felt she needed to say any of that>> rotfl

 

[mel P]

It's difficult to know up-front if the therapist will allow you to go naked, but it is certainly more relaxing

 

[Graeluuine]

Just let market forces decide.

I think it is important for the therapist to take control of the massage experience from beginning to end. A therapist should always work within his or her own ‘comfort parameters.’

I always give my clients a clear instruction to ‘undress to their underwear.’ Occasionally people ask if they can go further and I will make a decision based on how I feel about the appropriateness of their request. (Usually related to the area I will be working on.)

I like to draw a parallel to having a meal in a restaurant.

You make a choice from the menu but you won’t really know if you are going to like it until you have tasted the food. If you like it and enjoy the experience you will probably go back if you don’t you won’t.


My point is this: People’s taste varies and you will never keep everyone happy.

So long as a massage therapist, is happy and comfortable in their working environment then the public are free to choose according to their taste. I’m sure there is a big enough market out there to keep us all in business.

After all how many people complain in a restaurant if they don’t like the food. Probably a similar proportion to those who ask me if I mind them going naked!

 

[mountainbabe]

Just a quick question........when you get a naked massage and you are lying on your back, do they cover your bits with a towel??? I have never had a massage before (would like to, just never have the time...or the money!) butso i don't know. I know that i would feel a bit uncomfortable lying there totally naked. I wouldn't mind having my chest uncovered, but i'm not sure about my nether regions.........surely they cover these with a towel?

Hope someone can clarify this for me?

Thanks
Kate
[sm=nature-smiley-008.gif]

 

[Gerry C]

Hi Kate [/align][/align]It is normal to have theareas you are not working covered with a towel or a sheet in some cases [/align]

 

[Gem.?]

Thanks for clarifying that for me Paul

Kate
xxxxxx